Books

What About Dick!

My latest book will not be for everyone but– its funny (I promise). I didn’t choose to do this– but when life gives you lemons… (penis pictures) … you make a book about it! (FYI all the photos are anonymous– I DO NOT know any of the ” people”)

This a silly book about dick pics. It’s meant to be fun(ny) but thought it would be prudent to supply at least some background. Cyber flashing, a fancy name for dick pic, occurs for a myriad of reasons from sinister to flirting. And in most countries it is a crime, but based on the prevalence, rarely enforced.

If you have a dick, you’ve drawn a dick. It’s human nature. Maybe you doodled it in the air, but the fact is you’ve drawn a dick.

Even if you don’t have a dick, you’ve probably drawn one as well. Humans have been drawing dicks since the beginning of time. Scientists have discovered a dick pic engraved on a rock in Greece dating back to the sixth century BC, that’s approximately 2,600 years ago. That is a very old dick.

Why did they draw penises? My guess, because the camera was not yet invented. The first camera was used in 1685. I speculate the first photograph of a penis was an hour after that.

To purchase a hardcopy for $19.99

 

 

 

Recipes for a Broken Heart

Recipes for a Broken Heart is the true, tender, sad, funny, heart-breaking stories of people who have lived through the worst pain of all – a broken heart. And the comfort foods that helped get them through their painful ordeal.

Warning: None of these recipes are gluten free or sugar free or any other kind of free – when your heart is breaking, who cares about antioxidants! When you are in the midst of heartbreak you need food to give you a nice big hug and tell you it’s all going to be okay. Rice cakes and kale will never give you the love a brownie sundae will supply. Yes the love is fleeting, but a few minutes of joy when everything else truly sucks is sometimes enough to get you through to the next day. 

Typo scavenger hunt! Anyone who buys the print book and sends me a picture of themselves with the book and a list of 5 (totally intentional) typos in the first week of purchase – I will send them a $5 Starbucks card. I’m a comedian – let’s have fun w/ life’s imperfections!

 

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To purchase a hardcopy for $19.99