Red Shoes!


 

 

 

 

 

There is something about red shoes, maybe it’s just me, but I don’t think  so.

I have shoes in every color and red shoes always get the most attention, even above the sparklers, of which I also have many. Red demands attention.

That’s why it the color of high alerts.

I have a dozen or so pairs of red shoes (yes I know I have a problem—but there is no Shoes Anonymous – there is a SA, but well—that’s another addiction and I’m pleading the 5th ;o)

I realize I didn’t NEED another pair of red shoes or any shoes for that matter. But I was in NYC for my birthday and these lovely beauties were on sale. And really why won’t I buy apple red shoes in the Big Apple? It seemed sacrilegious not to.

And they are a very welcome addition to the family.

I wear red shoes on stage – often – because they demand attention. Andevery time I don a red pair I am reminded of a show I did in Idaho maybe 12 years ago and this silly naughty limerick an old farmer coot shared with me after the show.

“Here’s to the women in the fancy red shoes

She drank all my liquor

She drank all my booze

She ain’t a virgin

But that ani’t a sin

Cause she still has the box the cherry came in.”

 

So now you are cursed with having this silly poem in you mind too.

Put on your red shoes – and Dance!

 

Laura

Camp vs. Cute

Truly it should be camp verses cute, verses kitschy verses cheesy. And yes there is a difference.

Camp is so extreme that it has an amusing and sometimes perversely sophisticated appeal. Over the top and farcical, intentionally exaggerated so as not to be taken seriously.  Think the movies ‘The Little Shop of Horrors’ and ‘The Rocky Horror Picture Show’.

Camp is often confused with kitsch. But kitsch is more single items not an entire work of art per say.

Camp sometimes is also described as cheesy, to confuse things. To make things even more confusing cheesy and cute are often bantered about together. Might as well throw in tacky for good measure.

I figure some examples might help.

RuPaul, Liberace, Paul Lynde all camp

Meg Ryan in her famous roles, so cute.

Kitschy is harder to define think lava lamps, trucker hats and Thomas Kinkaid paintings.

Cheese is many many horror movies and also RomComs and how we love both. No judgment, cheese it is highly entertaining and a cheap guilty pleasure.

And lastly tacky, when all these ideals can blend into something horrible like Roseanne Barr singing the National Anthem.

Still confused?

Not to worry, I saw these shoes and almost bought them home, but somehow the kitsch, camp verses cute; tacky didn’t work for me personally. Maybe if I was a 17-year-old girl or a drag queen I could of made it work. Besides sharks are vicious and aggressive, I’m a more honey badger meets Labrador.

Laura

 

 

It was the Shoes

No good story ever started with ‘while I was eating a salad’… True.

Well-behaved women rarely make history. True.

Great things never come from comfort shoes.

Crocs will never make any head lines, turn heads or get noticed except for being unattractive. Ok, not sure if this is universally true of just my truth.

But when recounting my most outrageous adventures, I can always remember the shoes I was wearing. It might be because I’m into shoes and this detail sticks with me, or maybe the shoes had a super power that advanced the adventure and mere commonplace shoes do not have this clout?

These gold beauties recently crashed a wedding. I don’t like to think of myself as an uninvited guest that is rude intrusive behavior. So we will go with I was a ‘surprise guest’ or maybe ‘bonus invitee’. Yes bonus celebrator on couple X’s special day. I never learned the names of the newlyweds. But I did toast to their happiness – cause if you’re going to crash a wedding, by all means immerse your self completely. Don’t hold back. The reluctant timid party crasher just doesn’t seem fitting.

I will confess I did not start my day with a to do list that included invading a private event. I did however plan to meet a friend for dinner in a swanky joint in Newport Beach. I arrived a bit early and took a seat in the lounge to wait. I could see the wedding reception in full force from my vantage point. Sitting alone enjoying a beautiful view of the Pacific and a few minutes of relaxing clam was not a bad was to spend part of a Saturday evening.  Two groomsmen in tuxes sauntered up to the bar area ordered drinks then turned to look out and then spotted me. Sharped dressed men are always attractive, so my view just became even better. They asked me why I wasn’t seating outside with the rest of the attendees. I told them I was waiting for a friend. Then one of them said while I was waiting in should dance with him. I politely declined his offer and they returned to the celebration.

A few minutes later he returned and this time was more insistent that I join him on the dance floor. He was stag at a wedding and really just wanted to dance. I have always believed that if you are asked to dance, barring creepiness or other similar factors you should accept. Dancing is more fun than watching people dance. So I joined the celebration. It was a very fun reception, truly a joyous event. I never did meet the bride and groom, but they looked as if they were very much in love and having a blast at their party. So to them—cheers. And to this pair of shoes- well done. I’m pretty sure it was the shoes that propelled me into this party.

Laura

I am Wonder Woman

I’m pretty sure I NEED these.

Ok, I want these.

Ok, I’d really like to have them.

Okaaaayyy, I don’t need them at all, but it would be so cool to wear them on stage and while banishing bad guys.

Actually what I really want to do is thank all the lovely people on social media who have sent me this clip and thought of me.  (And all the other shoe clips/pictures in the past and the green doors pictures too) Its Thanksgiving weekend and I am grateful of all you cyber/social media friends who know about my partiality for pretty shoes, follow my travel escapades, come to my shows, and comment on my daily trivia and words. Your comments and insights have inspired me, make me laugh and help me enjoy each day just a little more. Thank you!

But now seriously I need these shoes. I would rock them like I was Lynda Carter and would do my best to fight crime. Can we get a kick- starter going? Anyone have a spare grand and wanna fund me as I venture into 2016 at a super hero in fabulous footwear? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Laura

Shoe Fashionista vs. Broken Toe

Shoe Fashionista vs. Broken Toe

If you have been following my shoe blog, you know that my visit to shoe heaven did not leave me unchanged. It seems the price of admission was a broken toe. Yes I broke my big toe in shoe heaven, ironically funny.

The Great Toe as it listed in medical books, and if you wanna get even more specific it was distal head of my 1st metatarsal.  Yes, I really have a medical degree.  And here’s a tidbit of medical knowledge; 85% of your weight is transferred through the big toe when you walk.

What does all this mean?

It means the beautiful high high heeled pointy toe pumps, “the don’t let your doctor/ physical therapist (aka me) see these babies on your feet” are currently not an option.

Trust me I tried.

Believe you me I am a horrible patient! All the rules of healing I tell my patients, I somehow think don’t apply to me. I won’t bother telling you my ankle sprain story. Just KNOW that it takes 12 plus weeks to heal a grade 4-ankle sprain. This applies to everyone! Even LeBron James.

So what is a shoe fanatic fashionista like myself to do? I can’t go on stage in an orthopedic boot? Please have you seen them?  They are hideous. Plus after one week they smell.  And worse they make everyone walk a bit like Frankenstein. For stage I got the most bling bling supportive sneakers I could find. They sort of have arch support.

I hope to rockin’ the heels in a week or two, even though I know it takes at least 6 – 8 weeks to heal a fracture. But don’t think I won’t try to speed up the healing process!

Laura

Bling Bling

Shoe Heaven

Shoe Heaven

I have never thought about an exalted place so perfect for shoes it could only be called heaven. But thank you Harrods, the full filler of retail fantasies, for creating such a place.

And it was heaven. (If you love shoes) And based on the amount of worshippers ascending the stairs through the Egyptian pyramid, I am not alone in my obsession of beautiful shoes.

I suspect getting into heaven is not easy, nor is finding the 5th floor of Harrods. The regular lifts as they call them don’t go there. You must circle about until you find your way up the
inside of a pyramid. How cool is that?!?

The three hours, yes three hours! I spent in heaven, was better than Disneyland. (For me) Thousands of shoes, displayed like works of art. (Because they are)  This shoe heaven was part museum, part department store and part casino. Everywhere as far as you could see, shoes in cases, on tables, credenzas and fancy wall mounts, beautiful lighting and mirrors oh so many mirrors. It was like being in a casino-a labyrinth floor path, no signs for the way out and constant bling to attract you in another direction.

I actually ran into a mirror and a glass wall on my heavenly visit. That is how well they confused my senses. Worse yet, broke a toe while in heaven. Possibly that is the sacrifice to the gods of shoe heaven. So instead of all the spectacular shoes on display in shoe heaven, I had to descend down to earth and find some sneakers while my fractured toe heals.  Apparently I wasn’t ready for heaven yet. So until then I will be hoofing it on the streets of earth.

Laura 

Pink Satin Happiness

Shoe shopping is the best form of retail therapy ever!

No stress! Sometimes even indulgent, like visiting the spa.

If you are in a fancy boutique- sit down- they don and doff your selections for you- lovely.

If it’s a fancy fancy pants establishment they bring you tea, sparkling water or champagne. Yes please!

It’s never embarrassing to ask for a bigger size. Not like with jeans, dresses, and lord help me bikinis. Not that I have even tried to wear a bikini since I was 13 years old.

Shoes never make you look fat. I can’t think of one pair of shoes that adds pounds. Even clown shoes with their huge proportions seem to have a slimming effect.

Shoes don’t judge.

Shoes don’t make you feel sad, inadequate or lonely.

Pretty shoes are pure joy.

Put on a beautiful pair of shoes right now- Walk around- your mood will improve- I promise.

Finding a beautiful pair of shoes on sale is like discovering its happy hour when you step into a lounge to relax. A bona fide it’s not your birthday- birthday surprise.

Earlier this year I was in NYC; I was feeling blue. I made the pilgrimage to my favorite DSW in the country… and there they were… pink satin happiness waiting for me—on sale- in my size. It’s the little joys in life we must cherish

Pretty- Sexy- Happy!

Some shoes are pretty

Some shoes are sexy

And some shoes just make you happy.

But rarely can one pair be all three.

I procured these beauties in Edinburgh at the Fringe Festival 2 years ago.

And I have loved them dearly ever since. I ogled them everyday for nearly a month walking to and fro past the shop window, before I convinced myself I should at least try them on. (secretly hoping I would hate them.) Bad idea! It was love- instantly.

To be honest, I could go years without ever ‘needing’ a new pair of shoes.

But they were even prettier on, then in the window.  Polka dots are synonymous with fun.

I blame my fabulous friend Nita for re-introducing me to the magic of polka dots. They are simple, clean yet so joyful and quietly elegant. Much like the daisy of the flower world.  Eternally a bright happy flower.

What I didn’t realize initially was their sexy aptitude.

This, like many great finds was a hidden bonus, discovered in the wearing.

So three cheers for pretty, sexy, happy!

CFM Meets DPT

 

A little over 4 years ago I became Dr Laura. No really I did. Apparently the good people at Boston University just hand those degrees out to anyone. I’m kidding of course. It was difficult, hard beyond words. I lost hair, gained weight, got ache, an ulcer and enjoyed a daily full fledge panic attack on top of serious levels of sleep deprivation. Ah the joys of stress. At graduation I had a bit of a dilemma… what shoes to wear with my cap and gown or if you want to get all fancy, regalia.  In my head I pictured black gowns, but no Boston’s colors are red with black. I’m all about trend setting but the purple boots I was gonna rock with the black cap and gown now seemed garish. So I went shopping. I found the perfect CFM shoes to match my prestigious new title of Dr Laura.

I guarantee no one else had these shoes on… ah higher education!

Laura

 

THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR WALKIN’

Has a person or life ever let you down?

Of course, it happens to everyone.

And it sucks! It sucks big time!

Especially if it was a loved one who blew it.

That’s the worst!

They say time heals all wounds, but sometimes time is too slow!

In the interim…

A little bit of ego building never hurt.

I think Nancy Sinatra had the right idea!

But on some big girl boots and do some walkin’!

Soon that person, loser boss or evil thing will just be a dot in the distance.

And you will have walked away with your head up, wiser and happier with some kick ass boots to take you there!

And probably a new distraction to occupy your time.

Are you ready boots?

Start walkin’!

Laura