Birthday’s, Shoes and the French

May 31, 2015 By Leave a Comment

May is full of Birthdays! I have 5 very close friends with Birthday’s in May. It’s a month of excessive merriment. I can tell you my waisteline and liver know that it has been a “festive” month.

“I don’t like the French” I have heard this ridiculous statement dozens of times. Really you don’t like an entire nation of people? You know what that makes you sound like? An ignorant racist. Ok maybe you are—I’m not here to judge.  I know stereotypes happen for a reason, I understand not liking a government or its politics, but I’m talking about the people- individuals. You don’t like all of them? Have you met all of them? I feel sorry for you.

Maybe this strikes a cord with me because one of my dearest friends happens to be French, from Paris and she might be the loveliest person I have ever met. Now don’t get me wrong- she is very French. She won’t like you either—at first. She will be aloof and make you prove yourself before she lets you in—but if she does, your life will be blessed with a delightful friend. She was actually my boss to start and the first 6 months I worked for her I had no idea what she was saying, her accent is thick, and if she has had a glass of wine, forget it. We have now been friends for over 20 years, and I feel lucky to know such a caring person. And I can understand her now- even after a few glasses of wine, that’s usually when I think I can speak French. Some day I hope I will learn to speak French, it a running joke between us. She sends me text messages in French to help me learn and I answer in Spanish. Another language I don’t know. My first trip to Paris was with my dear friend Patricia, and I can tell you if you can go to Paris with a Parisian, I recommend it. You might even be able to hire Patricia if you ask nice. Local knowledge in any foreign city just makes the experience even better.

Of course like all French women she has a flare for scarfs – I think its genetic and this has worn off on me. I owe a lot of scarves and rarely leave the house without one like a proper French lady. Patricia of course knows of my shoe obsession, she gave me this very pretty pair a few years ago for my birthday. And today is her birthday—Happy Birthday Frenchie! My life has been insurmountably better because you are my friend. Thank you.

Laura

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How to Talk to Women….

May 23, 2015 By Leave a Comment

Ask about her favorite pair of shoes. Okay I can hear your eyes rolling back in your head gentlemen and some ladies. But it is a great opening question. Doesn’t mean you have to keep the conversation on shoes for the whole evening (even for me that would be boring)—how you navigate the exchange after that is up to you. However, it is a way more creative opener then the weather, her sign, where she went to school or her job. And I will bet money you will get a way more interesting story too.

It’s a holiday weekend chances are you will be in a social situation/ party trying your skills at small talk openers.  I’m telling you it will make you look like a rock star.  You are asking about her, rather than telling her about you. And most likely you will get a story about a vacation, a special event or if you’re lucky (and appropriate- wink wink) about a steamy encounter.

Almost every women has a favorite pair of shoes and the follow up is … I bet most of the time she never/rarely wears them… for some reason. That is where the real meat of the story is… FYI.   Ask why.  The direction of the dialog after that is up to you both… you can then proceed with chatting about sports, how you hiked across Peru or how you saved a child from a burning building. You know I’m teasing… but there is some level of truth as well… My recent favorite, “I just vacationed with George Clooney in Italy at his Lake Como home. He is going be in my movie.”  “Oh that reminds me of the marlin I caught while ocean fishing with President……”

This is one of my favorite pairs, when I see you I will tell you the story and yes I never wear them.

Laura

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Mermaids in an Octopus’s Garden in the Shade

May 17, 2015 By Leave a Comment

I’d like to be, under the sea in an octopus’ garden in the shade.

He’d let us in, knows where we’ve been, in his octopus’s garden, in the shade.

Sadly, I don’t know when and where I acquired these booties.I do know they were on sale. Yeah me. But I refer to them as my mermaid shoes, because of the blue- green iridescent quality. And that seems like a nicer name than fish scales.

In all honesty however, I think of the Beatles song “Octopus’s Garden” when I wear them, but that seems long and not name efficient.  I love that melodic fun little song, one of just two songs Rinko wrote, I think. But some of you Beatle maniacs out there will correct me I’m wrong.   George Harrison who assisted  Rinko with the song, commented: “‘Octopus’s Garden’ is Ringo’s song. It’s only the second song Ringo has ever written, mind you, and it’s lovely.” He added that the song gets very deep into your consciousness “…because it’s so peaceful.

So happy Sunday kittens, may we all meet in an octopus’s garden in the shade!

Laura

 

 

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Laura, Do You Have a Favorite Pair?

May 10, 2015 By Leave a Comment

Since I have what would be considered an extensive shoe collection, I am asked often if I have a favorite pair. I have about a dozen very special pairs, but one pair is always on the top of my list. Alexander McQueen!

These are booties I was never supposed to own. I saw them first at South Coast Plaza, and if you know anything about South Coast Plaza, deep in the OC, nothing there is cheap.

I honestly kept thinking about them, because to this day they are still one of the most spectacular pair of shoes I have ever seen. Blue suede, white leather and red patent – what’s not to love? So on a whim I went to the haute couture section of Zappos  (this is before Amazon owned them) and low and behold there they were these amazing Alexander McQueen boots for half the price.  Now they were still ridiculously expensive, but now half as ridiculous, oh the temptation. Zappos used to let you purchase shoes and then you had one year to return them, yes one year, as long as they were unworn, of course. So I pulled out my visa and charged them like a good consumer. I planned to return them after I tried them on. The problem was I loved them; they were and are still spectacular 12 years later. I kept meaning to return them, but never did.  Then several years later Alexander McQueen, sadly like many geniuses took his life. He was only 40 years old. My crazy expensive shoes are really now museum worthy. I have only worn them a few times; I never wanted them to look worn.  I never travel with them; I have a rule never travel with things you can’t replace. Soon I will put them in a curio case and display them like art.

If you are unfamiliar with Alexander McQueen

He was a British fashion designer and couturier. He worked as the chief designer at Givenchy from 1996 to 2001 then founded his own namesake lapel after that, Alexander McQueen. His achievements in fashion earned him four British Designer of the year awards in 1996, 1997, 2001 and 2003, as well as the CFDA’s International Designer of the Year award in 2003.

Alexander McQueen was so inventive and creative his genius was made into a special exhibit one year after his death at the Metropolitan Art Museum in New York. I was lucky enough to visit this spectacular homage to his genius. Here’s a link if you would like to see or know more about Alexander McQueen. http://blog.metmuseum.org/alexandermcqueen/about/

RIP Alexander McQueen I still love these boots. Thank you.

Laura

 

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Foot Fetishes: More ‘Normal’ Than You Think.

May 3, 2015 By Leave a Comment

Okay foot fetish freaks, you know who you are.  I’m about to make you feel a whole lot better concerning your ‘foot interests’. Foot fetishism is the most popular and most documented fetish worldwide. However, some clarification, according to the scientific definition of a fetish, an inanimate object must be the object of desire. Since the foot is part of the body, technically, it’s not really a fetish. It is really foot partialism. However if the foot is in a shoe– then the lines start to blur between the two. Really it Po-tay-to verses Po-tah-to.

Next up, there is a neurobiological basis for this particular fetish. Tactile aka touch sensation in your somatosensory cortex aka your brain as it so happens feet and genitals are right next to each other. Meaning for some people there is neural crosstalk between the two areas aka a crossover in transmission between feet and your sexy parts. So according to your brain, feet can turn you on. Other fetishes… you are on your own to explain, sorry no science to help you.

Of course since foot fetishes are the most popular there are other theories as well trying to explain this phenomenon about feet. Sigmund Freud of course had plenty of theories as to why feet, mostly involving some aspect of penis-symbol/surrogate because everything it seems with Freud is about the penis or your mother.

Another theory hypothesized that foot fetishism increases as a response to epidemics of  STD’s. Foot play is considered a safe sex alternative. I’m not convinced about either of these ideas, I’ll stick with neurobiology.

Just so you know both men and women have foot fetishes, but it’s more prevalent with men than women. Are here is a list of some famous foot fetish peeps, Thomas Hardy, Elvis Presley, Andy Warhol, and Quentin Tarantino. Now granted these are electric’s but you foot fetish types should feel a little bit more cozy knowing you might actually be ‘normal’ in a sense. Education with entertainment is my favorite combo.

Laura 

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