Ursula, Octopuses and Other Oddities

June 28, 2015 By Leave a Comment

I think we can agree Ursula is not an attractive name. And octopuses, octopi or octopodes are ugly. (Yes all three versions are the correct plural form – love English spelling aka confusion)

Ursula the Sea Witch is a cecaelia,  part human, part octopus. She is a fictional character in many stories, namely Hans Christian Andersen’s fairy tale. The Little Mermaid, but was made most famous as the main antagonist in the animated Disney film version,  The Little Mermaid.

Personally not a fan of octopuses, I don’t even like calamari. My aversion is more from my childhood trauma than the actual taste. Faced with raw, dead octopus at age 6, watching it get cooked, the smell and then having to it eat as a guest in my best friend’s house – who was Greek — has left some childhood scars.

My friend Dan, who seems to have a propensity for finding fun and odd shoe pictures to send me found this pair. First I thought “How hideous!” But the more I look at them —well if they were mine, I would wear them. Maybe like the name Ursula and the appearance of the octopus, I might  have been to quick with my first impression.

Octopi are ugly, but here are a few facts that might make you at least ‘appreciate’ them a little more. Octopuses are among the most intelligent and behaviorally flexible of all invertebrates. Their intelligence, learning capability and problem solving abilities have shown evidence of both short and long term memory. This might shame some people I know who lack one or both. Octopuses can be difficult to keep as pets, but people have tried. They often escape even from supposedly secure tanks, due to their problem-solving skills, mobility and lack of a rigid structure.  So they are smart and sneaky.

Octopuses only live about 6 months, less if they encounter a fisherman.  And reproduction is a cause of death: males can live for only a few months after mating, and females die shortly after their eggs hatch. They neglect to eat during the one-month period spent taking care of their unhatched eggs, eventually dying of starvation.

I’m pretty sure I would have trouble getting these shoes past TSA, But I would indeed wear them and then dazzle/ bore you with facts about the octopus.

Happy Sunday

Laura

 

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“Let Them Eat Cake”

June 21, 2015 By Leave a Comment

Marie Antoinette has gotten a bad rap. The queen upon learning that the peasants had no bread supposedly spoke “Qu’ils mangent de la brioche”, traditional translation “Let them eat cake”. The quote reflected her disregard for the peasants. However there is no record of this phrase ever having been said by her. Actually biographers indicate that Marie-Antoinette was a generous patroness of charity and moved by the plight of the poor when it was brought to her attention, thus making the statement out-of-character.

During her marriage to Louis XVI, Marie-Antoinette was perceived as frivolousness and her very real extravagance were often cited as factors that only worsened France’s dire financial straits. But Louis XVI was way more extravagant, look at Versailles.  She was young, Queen at fourteen, who won’t be a little extravagant?

Second misconception, the bowl or saucer-shaped champagne glass, known as the champagne coupe was molded from Marie Antoinette’s left breast, and that she wanted her court to toast her health by drinking from glasses shaped like her bosom. This is such a fun myth, but not true.  The glass was actually invented long before her reign, in 1663 in England.  The first story was way sexier. However other historical women have been credited with inspiring breast-shaped stemware, including Madam du Pompadour, Madame du Barry, Empress Josephine (Napoleon’s wife), Diane de Poitiers, and Helen of Troy.  And in 2008 Dom Perignon revealed a ‘coupe’ designed glass after Claudia Schiffer’s bosom.

Its no secret I love shoes, I also love cake and actually champagne. So when friends send me shoe inspired cake pictures—its fun.  These are gorgeous. Thank you Dan.

Marie Antoinette is not a hero of mine in any way, but the fact that she has her name attached to two of my favorite things is impressive, even if not true.  If there was a Marie Antoinette shoe, I might have to admire her regardless of her betrayal of the French people. So if any one out there wants to name a cake, shoe or champagne after me, I would be delighted, however I would prefer to keep my head.

Cheers!

Laura

 

 

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God will send me a red dress and I’ll dance on your grave in high heels.

June 14, 2015 By Leave a Comment

I love this saying. So much anger and humor. And much to learn.

First lesson, don’t piss off a woman. She will aim for your death, mock your passing and then look for new beau while you are still warm in the ground. That’s a lot of wrath. You think this is an exaggeration? Ask any scorned woman—this is actually mild for many.

Second lesson, what is appropriate attire for a funeral? Traditionally black or dark colors, I hope we all know that. Out of respect for the passing of a loved one, it is not the time to bust out your sequin party dress. Aim for over conservative.

However, what if the funeral is for a very eccentric type? Recently, a very prominent woman in the Broadway theater community passed. Her loss was devastating to many. But her personal proclivity was for nudity. In honor of her, many attended the funeral au natural or discarded clothing as there arrived. I respect their courage and their personal homage to this great lady, but still not sure if this was the time and place for such a statement. I understand the choice and why, but still not sure it was fitting. Instead of thinking about the lady we came to pay respects to, I was concentrating on the naked person delivering a eulogy.

Anyhow, it made me think, I’m not planning on dying, but something tells me it might happen some day. I’m just letting all of  you know right now at my funeral I want everyone to wear the most fabulous shoes they own, please tell your best joke and bring boxes and boxes of chocolate. I want my casket to be covered in chocolate, not dirt and please eat your favorites first. I won’t care is you send me packing into the earth with the flavors no one likes, usually coconut or gross candied fruit. And I’m not a prude, but keep your clothes on, unless you are Chris Hemsworth. And in that case please don’t wait until I’m dead to be naked in front of me.

Live life to the fullest – no one gets out alive.

Laura

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Graduations, Weddings and Croquet Parties

June 8, 2015 By Leave a Comment

“Summertime and the living is easy…” Summer is my favorite time of the year. I love love love warm long days.  Technically, summer doesn’t start for another few weeks but for me the month of June always seems like the start of summer.

June also the traditional month for weddings and graduations… and for me my first ever invitation to a swanky croquet party. Now I will confess I have never been to a croquet party, swanky or otherwise, it was sort of like when I got invited to a Wiccan party, I had to search Google (thank goodness for Google) for appropriate attire and etiquette. I try to avoid novice faux pas if possible at all first time adventures.

The problem with attending a swanky croquet party is the event is dressy but the main surface for the festivities is grass. Any women who has attended a garden wedding or an outdoor graduation knows high heels and grass are a precarious situation, and if the ground is slightly damp, potentially very dangerous. It’s like dropping your heel into quick sand with each step. It leaves you walking around on you tip toes for the entire day, you look like a very ungraceful cat burglar.

What shoes do I wear with a fancy dress and still navigate grassy surfaces?  I know this is a first world, privileged dilemma, but it is still a problem. I really don’t want to break my ankle. I know for many this is easy, sandals, flip- flops, (and I shutter) crocs. For me, Miss Shoe Fanatic the fore mentioned is not an acceptable solution. Then in a flash–the answer…the wedge. It’s still a heel but with a sold supportive base, plus there are so popular presently. I know its not one of the great mysteries solved, but for this girl attending her first swanky croquet party, it was important.

Be safe out there in your fabulous shoes.

Happy Summer

Laura

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